Born again?

I have never fully understood what it meant to be “born again”. I have heard people say it about themselves, and even asked it of me. I have been apprehensive to respond with a yes, without really knowing what I was saying yes to. It’s been one of those scriptures that I have glossed over and said “yer I get it”, but never truly did … Until yesterday morning!!

I was getting ready for the day, I had been praying in the shower, singing as I got out and then sorting clothes for the day, when this incredible joy just flooded over me … It was so surreal. I felt warmth, love, utter delight. I was just overwhelmed by His presence. Just in my room, nothing particularly special happening, just the normal daily grind of getting ready for the busy day that lay ahead. Continue reading

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Principle or purpose?

So I have been pondering the concept of my obedience.  Do I do it because it is the ‘right’ thing to do, or do I do it out of purpose, His purpose?  Do I do it because I love Him, or just because I think I have to?

For me, coming from ‘people pleasing land’, it is very easy to slip into the principle response; the ‘I have to’, the ‘I’m a good girl therefore I must’, the ‘it seems like a good idea so lets go with it’ response.

But I sense God wants more from my obedience.  Radical obedience.  Obedience that comes from a heart so hungry for His will that His purposes are realised by my act of obedience. Continue reading

What does my identity rest upon?

Last year was a big growth year for God and me.  YAY GOD!

One incredible encounter I had, that I feel Him calling me to share, happened about a year ago at a conference I attended.  The speaker asked if anyone who had a hard time identifying God as Father could please stand up.  Now, this would not be the first time I have stood up in response to this issue, and honestly I was a little sick of standing because of it!  “What, not again God … I thought this was a done deal … haven’t I stood up for this one before?!”  But alas, my heart continued to be stirred!

So I stood!  It was scary.  I felt extremely vulnerable.  I felt naked, alone, like a child about to be punished. Continue reading

Calm the storm …

Fundamentally, I know and believe that God can calm any storm, heal any disease, raise the dead to life, give sight to the blind, let the lame walk ……. The part He is teaching me is that, sometimes He doesn’t.

My question has been; “why doesn’t He?”

I know the standard answer is “we live in a fallen world.”  But when you are the one in the storm, that answer brings very little comfort! Continue reading

What do you mean ‘die to self’??

Last year, I said to God “what does dying to self look like?  What is it exactly Lord?”

He responded with an image of Himself simply stretching out His arms, as wide as they could go.

“Yep, I get it Lord.  But what does dying to self really look like, practically I mean?”

He showed me the picture again.

“Ok Lord, now I’m getting annoyed … what does it really mean?  I mean, how can I die to self?”

This time the picture scanned back and instead of the picture being just arms out stretched, it was arms out stretched … ON A CROSS!! Continue reading

When it all began …

I can’t even remember when God first pressed on my heart to start writing … but what I do know, and can remember well, is the nagging doubt and constant arguing with The Creator of the Universe that I couldn’t possibly write.

I have this battle with Him all the time.  A battle about not being ‘good’ enough to do what He is calling me to do, like I know better then Him?!  In the flesh, I am right, I’m not good enough, let alone equipped for the call … but in the Spirit – which lies within – I have ALL I need in Him and have no reason to doubt!

So the battle is finally over … Continue reading